Manchester United squad: 2014-15.

de gea: thought the criticism of him early days was harsh and the praise today is a touch giddy but looking like one of the best keepers in the game and barca or madrid will be pleased with his progress.

rafael: looking more like 2012 rafa under van gaal but not been seen lately. still can’t understand why united have not signed cover/competition/a replacement in recent years, city wouldn’t play kompany at RB but we’ve seen jones and smalling feature there way too much. unreliable defensively but offers something going forward and puts his head where most wouldn’t put a foot

jones: looked a future united captain but needs to stop being messed about out of position (it’s been better this season in this respect) needs to stop hurting himself and needs a run of uninterrupted football to develop if he’s going to fulfill his promise.

evans: decent squad player, looked a fan favourite early on with his tough tackling and distribution and popping up with the odd goal but sometimes looks good for a howler.

smalling: always rated him. he’s like an italian defender who will be all over you like a rash. mickey owen said he was horrible to play against in training. same issues as phil jones though. might not get the prolonged presence in the team he’ll need to kick on if van gaal spends a shitload on new defenders. in fact it might already be too late for him and jones depending on van gaal’s thinking. it would be a gamble to pair them together and not spend big on centre halves if van gaal is going for the league next season and CL football looks a good bet to be back on the calendar.

rojo: fuck knows. shit tatoos. i quite like listening to van gaal say his name.

shaw:  i don’t fucking know. barely saw him at southampton. highly rated. big chelsea fan. stocky build like rooney, could be knackered by 28 or the best LB in the world if the hype proves right.

blackett/mcnair: look ok, time will tell. odds are against them though, like with every player who is on the fringes of making a successful jump to the first team.

valencia: looks a bit better this season although still looks well in his shell at times, such as opting not to take on arteta for pace on the break late in the arsenal game. fucking arteta who valencia would beat in a race even if he had to wear a pair of wellington boots. an asset though and worth a place in the squad.

young: like valencia he’s a worthy member of the squad, knows his role and works hard. more reliable than nani which is why van gaal kept one and fucked off the other. really looks like marlo stanfield from the wire.

di maria: most exciting player at MUFC. similar to a young giggs, down to the one footedness and sometimes erratic final ball. the quality of player united should have signed to replace ronaldo 5 years ago.

januzaj: i want to tell you, i might as well do, about a boy who can do anything, he comes from belgium, his name is adnan, januzaj januzaj januzaj

carrick: missed him badly until recently. class. think he’s now the only player in the united squad older than me, with van persie the same age give or take a few months.

blind: considerable upgrade on tom cleverley.. him and carrick would be a nice combo. united are still missing physical presence in the middle though, hence the use of fellaini.

herrara: looks like an all-rounder who can knock it about, hit a shot and get a foot in. like jordan henderson but with a lot more skill. was surprised at talk than van gaal might not fancy him.

fellaini: thought he’d be an asset if used properly and once he’d settled. not a bad plan B once van gaal has brought in strootman and fellaini has lost his place. popular around the club and supposed to be a cracking lad, even if he likes cracking lads with his elbow on the pitch.

fletch: big success story is fletch. I don’t think too many people in 2004 and 2005 would have thought he’d still be at united in ten years time, much less be united’s best player during certain periods and a big loss in a European cup final with that suspension. ok he looks shit now but he barely gets any minutes and i’d still prefer him in the side over brand TC23.

mata: not really influential, doesn’t look a natural fit in the side and can’t see him featuring regularly when everyone is fit. a shame. writes a blog! what a twat.

rooneh: whether you like him or not united are a better team with him in it and he’s still one of the best players in the league and does it in the big games. i don’t care who you’ve signed on football manager or what you think kagawa could have done if he’d been given a run at number 10, you bundesliga loving hipster twitter cunts.

van perseh: looking better recently, in part thanks to carricks return to the side, still an incredible finisher and still very good on the ball and he should see more of it. granted he’s  a mardy dutchman and an arsenal man.

falcaoooooooo: has a lot to do to get a permanent move.

wilson: looks like a young, white, wes brown. hope he has a decent career with MUFC. quick and a good leap on him.

van gaal: i like to imagine his office at carrington is an underground bunker, and he sometimes takes training wearing a hard hat and firing a gun in the air


About rawofprowrestling

I rant about pro-wrestling
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